Happy St. Patrick's Day

Plan your St. Patty's festivities using our ultra-scientific Shane-O-Meter rankings

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Ah, St. Patty's Day: the one day a year when everyone is a little bit Irish. Everyone is looking for a party, too, and pretty much any bar worth its weight in Guinness is more than happy to oblige. However, not all March 17 festivities are quite what ol' St. Patrick envisioned when he was driving the snakes out of Ireland (proudly snake-free for over 1500 years). As a service to our readers, we've not only rounded up some of the hottest parties in town, but we've conveniently ranked them according to Irishness, using our highly scientific Shane-O-Meter system of 1 to 5 Shane MacGowans.* (If you need a little of Shane's music to get you in proper spirit, click here.)

*The Shane-O-Meter does not gauge how fun an event will be, simply how Irish. Do not take Shane-O-Meter rankings as a judgment on the overall quality of the party.

The Venue: Monet Lounge

The Party: "Think Green Everything" St. Patrick's Day Party

Irish: Wear green and receive a free green beer and a shot

Not So Much: Three DJs spinning house, drum and bass, dub-step, hip-hop and bachata; not actually on March 17

Shane-O-Meter: 

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The Venue: Ladder 133

The Party: "Irish for a Day"

Irish: Corned beef and cabbage; Jameson and Guinness specials

Not So Much: Three Olives Vodka specials; music by the Speak Easy Band, playing "classic rock, reggae, top 40, alt. rock, hip-hop"

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: McFadden's

The Party: "A Very Guinness St. Patrick's Day"

Irish: Guinness; drinking begins at 7am with "Kegs and Eggs"

Not So Much: Kegs and Eggs?

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: Whiskey Republic

The Party: Irish Festivities

Irish: Irish breakfast at 8am; Irish step dancers; Whiskey Republic is owned by that one guy from the Dropkick Murphys

Not So Much: A bit of a toss-up here: music by Dirty Deeds, an AC/DC tribute band (not so Irish), accompanied by a bagpiper (definitely Irish), but the members of AC/DC were Australian, with Scottish heritage (not so Irish)

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: Sullivan's Rhode

The Party: St. Patrick's Day Block Party

Irish: Drinking in the streets; sponsored by Guinness

Not So Much: Music by "7 of New England's top DJs"

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: Hercules Mulligan's

The Party: St. Patrick's Day at Thayer Street's First Irish Pub

Irish: Corned beef and cabbage all day; the self-proclaimed "best pint of Guinness in town" as well as other Irish beers; owner Charlie Greene is from Ireland and built the bar himself

Not So Much: We're in the clear here

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: Ri Ra

The Party: St. Patrick's Day Extravaganza

Irish: Guiness specials; Irish dancers; Ri Ra is actually built from a real pub in Ireland that was disassambled and transported across the Atlantic

Not So Much: Seems like we're in the clear here

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: Snookers

The Party: "St. Patrick's Day Shenanigans"

Irish: Irish food and drink specials all day; wear green to spin the prize wheel

Not So Much: a prize wheel; music by DJ TJ, so "get ready to shake your shamrock"

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: The Roots Cultural Center

The Party: St. Paddy's Day Concert and Dance

Irish: The Gnomes, including Phil Edmonds on Irish whistle and Cathy Clasper-Torch on fiddle, perform Celtic...

Not So Much: ...Klezmer, Scandinavian, Caribbean, Asian and Latin music

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: McBride's Pub

The Party: St. Patty's Day Celebration

Irish: "Great Guinness Giveway"; day drinking; music by Brian Twohey; win Celtics tickets

Not So Much: Nothing really. Well done, lads.

Shane-O-Meter:

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The Venue: All Saints Memorial Church

The Party: St. Patrick's Day Supper

Irish: Corned beef and cabbage; potatoes; soda bread; Irish music; Celtic dancers; church

Not So Much: Nope, that about covers it

Shane-O-Meter:

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Still Yet to Announce Their St. Patty's Festivities: Patrick's Pub, Murphy's Deli, Fat Belly's. You can bet they'll all be celebrating, but no details have been posted yet. Check back for updates. Looking forward to the Smith Hill St. Patrick's Day? Sorry, it actually happened a week before St. Patty's.

And now, Shane MacGowan sings a ballad in a pub: