“We’re not going to have any more WASP-y sex. We’re going to be dirty girls now.”
Megan Andelloux is standing in front of a group of roughly 20 people, holding a giant brown dildo in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other. All of five foot two inches, with a shock of vintage-inspired copper hair, sexy librarian glasses and a sleeve of tattoos, she’s equal parts adorably feminine and abjectly terrifying... or, on second thought, maybe I’m the only one experiencing that terror. After all, this is my first sex education class. Megan does this all the time.
The class in question is Fabulous Fellatio. While we’ve gathered at a store called Good Vibrations in Brookline, Megan is the certified sexologist in charge of the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Pawtucket. The first thing Megan says to her students is, “I’m going to make you feel awkward at certain points. Revel in that awkwardness. It’s only kinky the first time.”
Because I’m one to embrace my humiliations – hell, if I’ve done it, I might as well get a few laughs out of it – and because I honestly don’t think anyone will believe that I’m doing this, I’ve brought along a friend. When Megan invites us to the front to pick out the toys we’ll be using for the evening, my friend gives me the choice between a bigger red dildo and a smaller blue glittery one. I pick the blue. “I knew it,” she says. “I saw sparkly and thought of you. I also did your jaw a favor because some of them are huge.”
The consensus from the group is that our biggest problem with fellatio is – well, if we’re being blunt here – that it’s long. And hard. Our jaws get tired. Our eyes water. And quite simply, we can’t always last as long as our eager partners can. Before we start the really naughty part of the class, Megan addresses this. “If you’re doing something that hurts, I want you to stop and realize that sex should feel good. Just because you start a behavior doesn’t mean you have to end a behavior.” She’s frank, emphatic and quite serious about what she’s saying. “Now,” Megan says, snapping back into a smile, “We’re going to learn to put a condom on with only your mouth. Unwrap your dildos.”
“It’s a little like Christmas,” my friend says. We giggle. There is a lot of laughter in this room, and a lot of women freely waving plastic penises around, practicing hand techniques on them. Megan’s in-your-face perkiness and liberal use of phrases like “I could talk about balls all day” has turned a gaggle of wide-eyed, slightly shell-shocked ladies into a group of girls competing to see how much dildo they can handle in their mouths without hitting their teeth. Oh, was that just me and my friend? Well, whatever. We were in the moment.